Evanescence
by SerenePhenix
Summary: He had saved one child's life, Saito's, and that had filled him with bliss and happiness unequaled. But now that PharaoMan deleted the NetNavi Yuuichiro Hikari sees the past again and the ghosts and guilt that have been haunting him ever since. (Just me playing around with anime and game canon...)


Evanescence

_A MegaMan NT Warrior One-Shot by SerenePhenix aka. Cameco_

* * *

No one had ever really considered what it had felt like for Yuuichiro Hikari when he heard about his other son's death because no one would ever suspect that the NetNavi could be anything else than an artificial intelligence. No one had ever thought about the possibility that MegaMan or any other NetNavi for that matter could be the remains of a life long since expired but held alive through codes and clusters and a technology most still thought to be science fiction.

Currently the middle aged man was sitting at his desk in his SincLab office watching the rain drops pellet against the otherwise untainted windows. The dark sky just mirrored the inner turmoil he was facing. Even though he had the means to revive his son a second time, Yuichiro felt his heart clench when memories he had long since buried after handing MegaMan to Lan resurfaced.

_It was in the middle of the night when a cry from the next room woke the parent from his already fitful sleep. Yuichiro glanced at his wife on the other side of the bed, exhausted after a long day in the hospital for a check-up on one of their twins. Saito's condition was worsening and the doctors were left just as puzzled as the young couple, who feared that their child might not come to see his first birthday._

_Yuuichiro got up groggily (Haruka, he concluded, should get some rest) and found his way around the pitch black room with flailing arms and the occasional cuss when his toe would hit a hard object lying or standing on the floor. He reprimanded himself for his foul mouth, well aware that soon his boys might pick up his words and that it would be more than just embarrassing if one of them blurted out a swear word._

_Quietly he opened the door so as not to disturb his sleeping wife, although with how loud the baby was crying it was pretty useless attempt anyway. He went for the door to his left, his hand hovering over the knob for a second in uncertainty as the bawling suddenly stopped – just as his heart. He gasped and threw the door open and switching on the light faster than the blink of an eye. The white crib looked innocent enough yet, as the room still was quiet Yuuichiro dreaded to look closer, to see that one of his children had died, to see that he had not managed to save him._

_Numbly his feet took him over to the side of the bed and he felt utter relief wash over him when he was greeted by a pair of narrowed, unhappy brown eyes on a pouting and red face. Yuuichiro laughed at the absurdity of how both Haruka and Lan managed to overhear the cries. Making sure not to wake the still sleeping twin Yuuichiro scooped Saito in his arms and began rocking him back and forth while brushing tears out of his baby-boy's face. _

_The child just watched him mutely and Yuuichiro grew concerned as those pools of brown slowly slid closed. Every time Saito closed his eyes he was afraid that it might be the last time he would see them open. But the grip on his finger, enveloped by that tiny hand, was reassuring and gave him comfort he wished he could give his son who was undoubtedly in pain._

_He frowned when the thought about the progress the doctors had made concerning HBD, which was next to none. What puzzled them most was that although being identical twins it was only Saito who suffered the condition. What was more, Lan did not even seem to carry the genetical material to transmit a likely condition to his children and neither Haruka nor Yuuichiro himself had known anyone in their family to have had genetical problems. _

_Yuuichiro was so deep in thought that only when he felt the small hand around his index finger slacken that he looked at his child again. Saito seemed to have fallen asleep again and he was ready to put the boy back into the crib when something particular about the twin caught his eye._

_He felt all of his blood being drained out of his body along with his warmth as he gazed dumbly at the body of his dead child in his arms._

_He only later knew why he had automatically understood that Saito had left for the other side. It was the lack of movement coming from his chest, the limpness of the boy's fingers and his lifeless face that had made it painfully obvious._

_But that was after he had recovered from the shock. Even after many years he would never be able to fully explain even to Haruka how he had known that Saito was gone but he had felt it in the very deepest and rawest part of himself that there was no spark of life inside that body anymore._

_He had put their child to a peaceful rest._

_It was in that moment that Haruka appeared inside the doorframe as though a voice had been calling out to the mother that her child had breathed its last and upon seeing her husband's hopeless and brokenhearted face with tears lining it, she had approached the living man and their dead child and taken them in an embrace, crying just as hard and long._

Yuuichiro wiped at the tears that had come to his eyes, taking off his glasses at the same time. That year had been the worst in his life. Although he knew there was nothing he could have done for the twin he still felt ashamed at his own powerlessness as a father.

Haruka had then concentrated on Lan to ease her pain - just like him - but the shadows underlining her eyes took many years to fade. The only comfort she had was that at least Lan would be able to grow up and live a happy life unburdened with the knowledge that there should have been two of them. They had agreed upon not telling him after his first birthday, when people had begun asking where Saito was.

The decision had been hard on both of them. To an outsider it must have looked as though they had purposefully tried to erase Saito's existence but the wish to spare Lan the sadness and guilt until he was old enough to deal with it was stronger than their concern about what people might say eventually.

What was more, what Haruka never could have known, was that he had been working on a project with SciLab that maybe promised the return of their lost child. It was a petty wish, seeing how many parents lost their children every day, be it because of an illness or an accident and also wished for them to return back to them but he wanted to try at least. He wanted to make up for his uselessness; for what he felt as being a failure as a father. None of his coworkers ever suspected that the hair they used belonged to a dead baby.

It took him ten years, ten long years of research and failures until one day Saito was reborn in the form a blue clad NetNavi going by the name of MegaMan. And the moment he saw the green (not brown) eyes open and heard the resurrected intelligence's query as to where he was, Yoichiro felt achievement and a happiness he hadn't in a long, long time.

He had pondered for a while what to do with Saito once he would be back from the dead and he came to the conclusion that the boy's rightful place was next to his brother's. So it was on Lan's 11th birthday that he handed the boy the PET containing the essence of his twin, the birthday boy grinning all day and Haruka being happy for him too. Yuuichiro had never told her and surely would not confess anytime soon with what had happened a few hours ago.

The connection between Lan and MegaMan was nothing unexpected but still it left the scientist marveling just how much the two boys got along even after a decade of separation. Maybe they could still feel that bond between them – a bond Yuuichiro appreciated and feared just as much.

It was the reason he had altered Saito's genes minimally, so as to prevent something like a very strong connection to occur. It was for both children's safety and as it turned out might have been the right choice after seeing the latest turn in the N1 match. There was no way of saying what might have happened to Lan if they had had a strong mental connection.

He could only imagine what his son must be feeling like right now and he thanked the havens he had never disclosed the truth about MegaMan to Lan. It would have been too cruel and a burden far too heavy to bear. He himself was barely holding himself together as it was. Oh, and Haruka… if she knew, she probably would never forgive him.

Yuuichiro sighed and let a few more tears stain his tired face. He knew reviving his son Saito, the NetNavi MegaMan was possible and he would be damned if he let anything interfere with that. But the fact remained that both his children led a dangerous life, would have a dangerous life after the (with the exact match of Saito's and Lan's DNA) would be installed and there was nothing he could do unless he gave up on Saito definitely.

And Yuuichiro knew that he did not possess the strength to see Saito die a second time.

* * *

AN:

This sweetheart has been lying on my hard disk for _ages_ and I guess I simply felt in the mood to publish it while working on Secrets of the Worlds.

I always liked NT Warriors but was kind of disappointed that the anime never included the game plot twist that Lan and MegaMan actually were twins. Come on! You must admit that with that kind of information the last episode would have been epic!

Also I really wanted to try and portray the sadness of a father losing his child and his will to not let him stay dead forever. I do not know how well I portrayed the scientist but I hope it hit close.

Anyways: Review please.


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